


Cold and Broken Hallelujah

by NerdyShipper



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Summaries, Multi, OFC has depression, again sorry, polygamous relationship, sorry y'all, there should be more of these
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 12:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8055724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyShipper/pseuds/NerdyShipper
Summary: Zoe is missing during breakfast and lunch, worrying Remus and Sirius. They quickly hunt her down with the aid of Lily.





	Cold and Broken Hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> Zoe is the only character that is mine. All others are J.K. Rowling's, and all that stuff.  
> I don't mean to have Peter missing. He just didn't really show up. Sorry, y'all.  
> And this has a happy ending. I just wanted to do something that touched on a subject that's close to home for me.  
> This was the first draft, and it was NOT beta'd, so any mistakes are all mine, and I apologize for them.  
> Also, title is from the well-known song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.

Zoe lay curled up in her bed. She'd refused to leave that morning, even after Lily Evans had tried to cajole her to get up. She'd charmed the curtains to stay closed and shock almost everyone that came near.  
She'd missed two meals so far, half of her classes, and she didn't care. She didn't feel anything but empty.  
She couldn't find the energy to get up and get dressed. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't anything but tired.  
She had cried herself to sleep a couple of times; it had given her such a bad headache that the remnants of it still lingered.  
The creaking of the door made her cringe. She really hoped it wasn't anyone else who was going to try to convince her to get up. She just wanted to be left alone with her...nothing-ness.  
Two pairs of footsteps came closer, stopping right outside her curtains.  
'Oh god. Please just go away,' she thought, pulling the sheets up over her head.  
~ ~ ~  
"Padfoot, where's Zoe?" Remus asked at lunch. He'd noticed her missing at breakfast but attributed it to her habit of oversleeping her alarms. But she never missed lunch, if only to sit with them.  
Sirius swallowed his plate of food and looked up and down the table. He blinked at Remus in confusion. "Umm. I dont know. Think she's alright?"  
"I dont know." He looked down the table to a group of girls whispering amongst themselves. "But I think I know who might."  
He stood up and walked over to where Lily was conferring over her apple with two others. They quieted as he came closer. He looked pointedly at one of them, and she moved to let him slide in next to Lily.  
"So, Evans."  
She made a noise of inquiry.  
"Where's Zoe?"  
Her fingertips tapped the table as she stared at him, deciding something. He was quickly losing patience and was about ready to let loose with some diatribe about how he was one of her boyfriends, he was allowed to know where she was and if she was okay, yada yada, when Lily sighed.  
"She's - she's not doing well. She's still in bed."  
"You mean she's sick?" Remus was confused. Why not just say so? That wasn't all that bad.  
"No." Lily hesitated. "Hasn't she spoken to you about...it?" She put heavy emphasis on the 'it', though she spoke everything else as if treading lightly, unsure of what to say.  
"What is 'it', Lily?" Remus growled. "Because she's not here, she's not okay, but she's not sick, and something's bloody wrong. So if you could just spill it without dancing around it, that would be nice!"  
By the end, he was almost yelling and she was glaring at him.  
"Do not yell at me, Remus Lupin," she hissed at him. "She's my friend as well, you know."  
A rumble started in his chest, an angry sound that was more animal than human. His eyes were taking on a yellow rim that seemed to make them glow in an unholy way.  
"She's is more than my friend," he snarled.  
"Fine," she snapped. "I'll take you to her. But you have to be out of the girls' dormitory before we come back tonight."  
He scoffed. "You think we can't get in on our own?"  
"No. Because I charmed and hexed it. She doesn't like visitors right now, not even the other girls we room with. They know, so they take all their stuff in the morning. We don't go back until evening."  
She paused. "You know, usually you're the leveheaded one."  
He blew air out of his nose in irritation. "Don't dilly-dally. Let's go. Oh, Sirius is also coming along."  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I know how it works."  
Remus was shocked by that. "You do?"  
Lily snorted. "Of course. Zoe and I are friends. She told me all about it." She made a face. "Well, not all about it. Thankfully, she left out some parts."  
Remus nodded and turned back to motion Sirius to join. The other boy was beside them in seconds.  
"She okay?" he murmured as they moved through the corridors.  
"No," Remus said shortly.  
"What's-"  
"I don't know."  
Sirius nodded, a frown making creases in his forehead.  
They gave the password to the portrait and minutes later were standing outside the girls' dormitory.  
Lily let them in after a few quietly spoken phrases then shut the door behind them.  
~ ~ ~

"Please go away," Zoe whispered, not really sure if they'd heard, not really caring either way.  
She heard a huff just before the curtains parted and a weight settled in front of her on the bed. Behind her, someone else also sat down.  
"Zoe," came a soft croon from behind. "Zoe, love. What's wrong."  
"Nothing," she muttered, distracted with whether or not to surface.  
"Zoe, there's obviously something wrong. Won't you tell us?"  
The first thing she'd felt all day, a spark of amusement, snapped through her, causing a snort. "Not what I meant."  
She decided things would be better explained above covers, since she was certain they would not be leaving.  
She struggled to scrunch up enough to sit up against the headboard after surface, but their weight on the sheets was too much. "Will you get off?" she grunted.  
The boys exchanged looks. "Huh?"  
She tugged on the sheets. "Off."  
"Oh." Sirius grinned and scrambled underneath with her, quickly spooning her from behind while Remus slipped in front of her. They both curled around her, tangling arms and legs, hair getting in mouths and fingers into crevices. A minute later, they were situated.  
"Okay, so what's up?" Sirius whispered into her ear.  
She huffed irritably. She hated it when he did that. It just made her ear itch. She wiggled until her head was against Remus' chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Her hand clenched over Sirius' hand which was resting on her stomach. Remus' arm lay on top of both of them, fingers tracing patterns on Sirius' back.  
"I don't feel anything," she breathed. A couple of tears slipped down her cheeks to the bed beneath. "Just feel like I'm full of so much nothing-ness, like I'm about to burst with empty."  
They were quiet for a few seconds as the boys processed. Remus was faster.  
"Depression. Do you take meds?"  
She nodded against his chest, felt Sirius press kisses to her neck. "Ran out some time last week."  
"How?" Sirius asked confused.  
"My parents forgot to refill my prescription at the pharmacy."  
"What the bloody hell are a prescription and a pharmacy?"  
"He's got no muggle family, love," Remus murmured into her hair.  
After the brief explanation, Remus could see Sirius' eyebrows were still furrowed.  
"What's the problem, handsome?"  
Sirius snorted at the nickname but answered the question nontheless.  
"Well, why not just go to Pince? Can't she help you with a potion or something? It's not likely that the muggles are the only ones who struggle with this."  
Zoe blinked. "I - hadn't thought about that. Parents neither."  
"Well, of course they didn't," Sirius scoffed. "They're muggles. Not to say anything's wrong with that, but magical solutions aren't going to be the first thing they come up with."  
"Well, that's something we should probably check out today," Remus added.  
She snuggled deeper into the bed, deeper into the cradle of their bodies. "Not today," she yawned. Her eyelids drooped, heavy as lead in moments. Sleep was quickly overtaking her.  
"I'll just slip down there on my own then, shall I?" Remus asked, already pulling away.  
Zoe whimpered, and snagged his shirt, clenching fingers also happening to grab chest hair in the process. Remus yelped and scooted back to avoid the pain.  
"Hey, hey, I'll be back," he soothed and ran a hand down and up and down her bicep.  
"Please don't leave," she whispered groggily. Her hold on consciousness was slowing slipping, just as her fingers were.  
"How about I stay til you're asleep? I'll be back before you wake. And if I'm not, Sirius is still holding you."  
She hummed before falling into a deep slumber.  
Remus and Sirius locked eyes over her head, both filled with worry for the girl they desperately loved.  
Remus waited a few minutes more before sneaking out of the bed and room. Zoe shifted restlessly until turning over to face Sirius. She curled into him and relaxed once more.  
Sirius was dozing when Remus snuck back in. He woke up to see the taller boy set a couple of vials on the bedside table then slip back into the bed.

Sirius snicked quietly. He really wasn't sure how the three of them fit into the small bed. Really, they had to cuddle _very_  close to make it work. He sighed. Oh well. It was a cross they'd all have to bear.  
~ ~ ~  
Lily came back an hour early to find them all curled quite close, asleep.  
She smiled, loathe to wake them. Instead, she closed the curtains around them.  
She noticed the bottles on the bedside table and hoped that whatever they were, they would do some good.  
She swiftly exited the room, wincing at the creaking of the door. Really, it needed oiling. When she made it to the common room, she found James waiting for her.  
"Where are Remus and Sirius? Haven't seen them since they left lunch with you. Had to give McGoo some excuse about them quickly coming down with some bug. Remus' visit to the infirmary was just great timing."  
Lily hid a smile at the rambling. "Sleeping."  
He was suddenly blocking her path, moving so quickly, she hadn't even seen him get up.  
"They're not in our dormitory. So where is it exactly that they're supposed to be sleeping?"  
The serious quality to his face, mixed with worry, touched Lily. She hasn't known he could express any such feelings.  
"They're in mine."  
He made a noise that sounded as if he was strangling over his own outrage, and she couldn't stop the laughter that welled up. It bent her over at the middle and brought tears to her eyes.  
"Not - my - bed, " she gasped between giggles. She was almost on the floor, she was laughing so hard.  
His arms were crossed over his chest as he glared at her. "Glad you find this so amusing."  
She pulled herself to fully standing, a couple bouts of laughter bursting even as she calmed down to a grin.  
"You are so easy to rile. You know they're dating Zoe. They're asleep with her. Doubt they'll wake up tonight."  
He grumbled as they walked out the portrait together, his arm slipping around her shoulders. And, well, if it was a little possessively, Lily didn't think she'd say anything about it this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You made it to the end! Coolio. If you enjoyed it, please, please, pretty please leave kudos or a comment? Pretty please?? It'd be greatly appreciated. :)  
> I don't know, but I might make this into a universe, add some before and after stories for this one. A friend asked, so I'm contemplating it.  
> Otherwise, thanks for reading. Have a good day!


End file.
